Still Waters

On May 14, we had prayerfully made the decision to temporarily leave our home in Brazil and fly to the States. Having two children in the middle of a failing economy and unstable health system during a pandemic played a major role in this decision. A month into being back in the States, Tim and I (Lindsey) were recovering from Covid and struggling to find our footing. What’s our plan? How do we do school for our kids? And many other questions.

Two and a half months in, I was having anxiety - very vivid and emotion-filled dreams of our Brazilian home and neighbors. I struggled with my core identity. I felt empty. I woke in the middle of the night feeling pure grief. Don’t get me wrong. I loved hiking the close trails I had missed while being in Brazil, sitting and laughing with my dear family that I greatly missed, and worshiping in our home church! Now, 5 months in, I look back and see how the Lord gently carried us.

Even though it stirred up much sadness and deep questioning, we have never regretted the decision to temporarily leave Brazil. We now know that the Lord has us here to find rest and healing in ways we didn’t know we needed. We were diagnosed with COVID two days after landing in the States. We, more than likely, had COVID before we traveled and just didn’t realize it. See how the Lord worked there? I was so knee deep in our work in Brazil that I pushed through the very faint body aches and fatigue I was experiencing. Little did I know that there was pneumonia beginning to grow in me.

Our son has been able to tap into strong reading resources that he had needed for quite some time, which has also helped him with the emotional chaos he would experience weekly. Our pre-teen daughter confessed that she had begun to believe that her identity was in being a missionary kid and, since her family were missionaries, that replaced her need for a daily intimate relationship with Jesus. Oh, and our marriage. Wow. We have had the chance to step back and relearn what makes each other tick, how we cope differently, and help each other gets plugged into opportunities to help each other grow.

As we see this as a time for rest and growth, our hope is that you’ll lean into your Shepherd’s guidance in every circumstance that comes your way. For the path of the Lord always leads His sheep to what they need.